letting God lead

Friday night. 10pm. Back at Casa Ortega. Let me work backwards. We just made it home from the Parenting Workshop. Traci and I got to speak to a lot of the parents here in the church and it was a blast. They were such a great audience, and so kind to us. We got there on time tonight. A brother named Carlos picked us up and gave us a ride. He spoke no English, but we had a really great time together. I asked him to explain the difference between ¨te amo¨and ¨te quiero.¨ It was hilarious trying to figure out what he was saying.

The afternoon was spent at Gladys´house. You may remember her from the post on Tuesday. Our team was very impacted by her situation, and we could not leave this city with a clear conscience if we didn´t do something to help. We had to really work hard to make it happen. We couldn´t get in touch with her to see if she would be there, so we were just hoping that she would be there and that she would welcome our help.

Liz Gitto, Jason Hill, JP, Traci and I went to PriceSmart (think Costco) and bought sheets, pillows, pillowcases, new cookware, brooms, cleaning supplies, some toys for the kids, and lots of other stuff. However, as we got up to the checkout stand, Liz was going to pay for it with her AMEX card, but she forgot her passport. It became a huge issue, with the manager, and all five of us Americans standing around, pleading with the manager to let it pass. He wasn´t going for it. We were praying, trying to figure out what to do.

In the meantime, Angel, a brother from the church who I also wrote about in Tuesday´s post, was working there. He had come over to help with our checkout, and he finally stepped in and told the manager that we went to church with him, and the manager decided to let the deal go through! It was one of those ¨God moments¨that let you know that he is right there with you, even when you don´t think of everything.

We arrived at the house, and she was so excited. She cried, and was so grateful for the help. We attacked her kitchen, living room and bedroom. Jason Hill and Liz Gitto were the driving force behind making it happen. Teresa was invaluable by helping us really communicate with Gladys and her family. Sandra and Mariela and Vanessa worked so incredibly hard. Jayelle, Jonathan and Ana washed every dish and worked so hard to clean this house. All of us were in tears at the end.

It was one of those difficult situations where you realize that you can´t fix everything, and also that lack of financial resources was not the only problem. The disciples here are going to follow up with her and help her make some changes in her life and habits that will help her to move forward. However, sometimes, it is important just to do the things that may not seem like they will make a big difference in the long run, but will really touch someone´s heart now. Jesus was like that. He was willing to look at people, to listen to them, to reach out and touch them, to spend time with them, so that they could feel loved and important. That was our ministry today.

Now, I have to tell you about our experience at the beach. We were scheduled to go to Costa Del Sol, a beachfront community where Karla Perkins´relatives have a beach house. All of us, with the exception of the kids, were having some serious internal struggles about going to a tropical paradise situation when there is so much work to be done in the city and with the people here. It felt somehow wrong and self indulgent. However, no one verbalized it because our hosts here set the schedule for us, and they were honestly looking out for us so that we could rest. The house was free, and especially in the weeks before the trip, it seemed like a great idea. However, as the week wore on, and we were with the people here, we were all pulled by the need to keep working.

We got to the house, and it was beautiful. It was what they call ¨rustic,¨meaning that it was not enclosed. The living areas and kitchen were all open to the outside, while the four bedrooms had walls. There were hammocks strung up, and wonderfully comfortable chairs. The house led out onto the pool, which led right out onto the beach. We swam in the really warm water, played volleyball, and played Nertz into the early morning hours. It was really fun, but we all still had that nagging sense that this wasn´t quite right.

This morning, we all began to get up and spend some time on the beach praying and thinking. The kids got in the pool. One of our police guards, who we call Batman, but is really named Armando, started talking to people. First, he had a great conversation with JP about raising kids, and asked him for advice. Then, he sat with Vanessa on the beach talking about God. Then, he sat with Liz, who opened up the Bible and started showing him Jeremiah 29, vs 11, even through the language barrier. (You can´t stop Liz these days...) Jason and Vanessa came back from a walk and sat down with him and started asking some questions. Then, Chris Boyer showed up to spend a few hours with us, and so he sat down and Chris and Jason ended up having a really great Bible study with him for over an hour. He really opened up about his life, and talked about his need for people, and his desire to know God more. He shared with me afterwards that he respected us and was inspired by us, and that he was really excited to come to church on Sunday with his wife and daughter, even though they would have to take the bus for over an hour to get there. He said that before his assignment with us, he felt like his heart was dead, but now he felt that it was alive again.

If we had not been at the beach house, those conversations and that study would never have happened. We would have been busy doing other work, but we would have missed that opportunity to spend that uninterrupted time with Armando. Tears are streaming down my face as I type this, because I realize how God is always working, even when I don´t know it or don´t understand it. Even when I think I have a better plan, God´s plan is already set in motion, and will always be better than my own. I am overwhelmed by God´s patience and kindness with me, and grateful that he gives me so many chances to let him work, even when I think I am smarter than he is.

My life is so amazing. Why me, though? Why do I get to live where I live, to have the things that I have? I don´t deserve it, in that I didn´t do anything to earn my place in the world. I was just put here, and God gives me things to be enjoyed. However, he also wants me to use what I have to give back to others. That concept is starting to come more into focus every day, although it still seems so foggy and blurry, like I´m looking at it through dirty glass. How do I do that? What is the best way to leverage the time and money that I have? Why was I so stupid earlier in life and get myself into a financial situation where I am now paying back debt rather than freely being able to use what I have to help others? How can I change my lifestyle when I get back so that I have more to give somewhere else? What is the best way to give? I am trying to find the answers to these questions, if they are even available to me. What I do know is that God will lead, and if I will let him, then it always works out better than what I could have planned myself.

In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.
Proverbs 16:8-10

Tomorrow morning, in less than eight hours, we will be leaving to go to the school in Suchitoto, where I hear that the situation is challenging and disturbing. We are taking the rest of the clothes and dental supplies that we brought to give to the kids there. We are going to teach them how to brush their teeth. We are going to work on building a covering for their porch area that the church here built for them recently, so that they have a shaded place to cook and eat their lunches. I am just hoping that I am smart enough to let God lead me through the day tomorrow.

My kids are doing great, by the way. Jonathan is getting eaten alive by mosquitoes, but he is having fun. Jayelle is just amazing. Watching her take all of this in is so inspiring and fills me with hope. She is getting to hang out with such great people and see their hearts being moved and challenged, and I know it is making a huge impact on her. They are both exhausted tonight, because we all got about an hour total of sleep at the beach house last night, but that is another post for another day...

Oh, and by the way, I have discovered that coconut milk right out of the coconut is amazing, especially if it is chilled and you drink it with a straw. God´s Gatorade...